by David Kong

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We often hear the phrase, “Your network is your net worth.” Early in my career, I did not fully appreciate what that meant.

Like many in hospitality, I built my foundation as an individual contributor. I worked hard, often harder than those around me, learned quickly, and focused on delivering results. That approach served me well in the early stages of my career. Performance created opportunities, and opportunities led to growth.

But as I progressed into larger, more complex organizations, I began to see the limits of that mindset. Results alone were not enough. Visibility mattered. Relationships mattered. Ultimately, being known and remembered mattered.

This realization did not come naturally to me. By nature, I am an introvert. I was not inclined to work a room, nor did I actively seek opportunities to build relationships beyond my immediate responsibilities. I did not volunteer for committees or make a deliberate effort to connect across divisions. I focused on execution and assumed that strong performance would speak for itself.

Over time, I learned that while hard work can open doors, relationships are what move you forward.

A turning point came when I worked for KPMG Consulting and saw firsthand that engagements are often won by individuals with connections. I began to rethink networking and how I could be more effective.

A concept from direct marketing helped clarify this idea. Networking is not a series of isolated interactions, but an ongoing process.  It is the power of multiple contacts. In marketing, a single touchpoint rarely drives action. It is repeated, thoughtful engagement that builds awareness, trust, and ultimately, a relationship. The same principle applies in networking.

First, preparation is essential. Walking into an industry event without a plan often results in superficial conversations. Identifying and proactively outreaching a few individuals you would like to meet in advance creates focus and increases the likelihood of meaningful engagement. Networking is not about volume. It is about the quality of a few connections that can develop over time.

Second, connection begins with commonality. In an industry as interconnected as hospitality, shared experiences are abundant. It may be a market, a brand, a challenge, or even a personal interest. Finding common ground creates an immediate sense of familiarity and trust. It transforms a brief interaction into the beginning of a relationship and makes future engagement more natural.

Third, follow up is where most of the value is created, and where many professionals fall short. A timely, thoughtful note that references a specific point from the conversation signals attentiveness and sincerity. It reinforces the connection and lays the groundwork for continued dialogue.

However, effective networking does not end with a single follow up. The real work lies in maintaining the relationship over time. This does not require grand gestures. Small, consistent touchpoints such as sharing a relevant article, acknowledging a milestone, or simply checking in help keep relationships active and meaningful.

I once heard of a CEO who ultimately secured his role at a major hotel company not through a single interaction, but through years of maintaining a thoughtful connection with the chairman. When the opportunity arose, he was not just another candidate. He was someone already known and trusted. That is the power of sustained relationships.

For introverted leaders, this approach can be particularly effective. Networking does not require being the most outgoing person in the room. It requires listening, observing, and following through. These are capabilities that many introverts naturally possess.

Over time, I have come to understand that networking is not about self-promotion. It is about building genuine relationships grounded in trust, shared experiences, and mutual respect. In an industry built on service and human connection, those relationships are often the differentiator.

Hard work will always be the foundation of success. But relationships are what expand opportunities and sustain long term growth.

If I could offer one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be this. Do the work, but your network is your networth.

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